An Unsent Letter

Dear you,
Last year, I got a Valentine card about farts. Was that really a year ago already? It honestly hurts my
head to think about all of the things that have happened this year. Never in a million years…

I almost feel bad about typing this letter because I’m robbing you of my gorgeous left-handed
penmanship. My sociology professor told me that a substantial percentage of left-handed people are confused about their sexuality and often lean both ways- just a fascinating little tidbit for you to chew
on for a while. I usually hate separating useless fragments with –dashes- or :colons: but Microsoft Office sees fit to ignore my poetic license concerning fragment usage so-there it is. It’s really confused about all
of the unnecessary punctuation I’ve just included.

I just got a stack of posters to put up for the vagina monologues and I’m considering just wallpapering the computer lab with them. We get t-shirts next week! I hate wearing the button though; I think strangers confuse me for a show kid when I wear buttons, especially because of my newfound affinity for wearing slimming black clothing. Then opening night is Thursday. You called me on opening night last year. As I recall, you thought I was mad at you. Actually, I was just a completely nervous wreck and found it difficult to articulate...anything.

Over the summer, someone asked me what I was thinking when I chose English as a major. I said “Eh, I used to think I wanted to be a writer and I’ll still write every day blah blah blah hopefully not from my
parents basement! hahah” ( the usual recycled response I give to everyone who asks). They said, “Oh, cool. So where can I find your blog?” And I (completely befuddled by anything online that isn’t facebook)
responded with my own question: “Normal people can have blogs?” Blonde moment. That was a really long paragraph that was basically a set up for this sentence: I’ve been blogging a lot recently. Haha. My
fiction class makes me want to do everything and write some variation of it down.

My new favorite song is Train- Hey Soul Sister. P.S. you did not make me love Jason Mraz; I’m simply able to stomach one of his songs now and even that has taken on a different meaning for me. I do admit that the man has a great talent for lyrics, he is just usually more annoying than not. Like you.

First paying gig: February 7th, 2010. Hotel Super bowl Party. I am officially on the road to stardom and
fame. Watch out! I’m really nervous, though. I spent all of yesterday (Wednesday) in bed. Caught a
particularly nasty sickness but today I had a bagel from Starbucks and feel fine. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t
real sickness though; my body most likely invented it to deal with my nerves. I miss the days of
elementary school though, where you could afford to be sick for a day. Missing Wednesday has
completely messed up my life.
Well, I think that’s about it for me. Must prepare for class.