The Case of the Warmed Up Toilet Seat

Jim Edwards, existentialism expert and associate professor at Shippensburg University, loves to talk creep. It is, before English, his native tongue. His topics of choice in past classes have included "incestual relationships with one's brother", "the disgust that subconsciously accompanies the fear and sadness of seeing one's own dying mother", and 'all the "failed left-fielders" in the world' (i.e. those who dreamt of playing professional baseball as a child [or who had any dreams at all] only to discover that they sucked at the game). These are gloomy and disturbing topics, which most brains approach with "wooley mindedness" or a conscious effort to keep these socially unacceptable and sometimes sad thoughts in an area of the brain that lies below the surface.

Last week, he tried to make the class uncomfortable by lying down on the desk in a seductive way, but because I spend 50% of the class fantasizing about all the dirty, educated things he could do to me, I was only aroused. Everybody wins.

Much of our focus revolves around the thoughts that we ignore for socially fashioned reasons; in some instances, the thoughts we think are too uncomfortable to voice not only in public, but in the sanctity of our own brains.

I was watching porn the other night (one of those random attacks of arousal around three in the morning) and a small twinge in my brain made me hesitate as my mouse scrolled over a clip which included lesbians.
Now, because I do not include "women" under "interested in" on my facebook page, I do not consider myself a lesbian. In the deep recesses of my mind, however, I have natural curious thoughts about experimenting and learning more about this way of life annnnnnnd my first instinct is to SUPPRESS IT!

WHY?!
At three in the morning, when no one will ever know what kind of pornography I choose to peruse, why in GOD'S name would I have to hide from myself?

And, why, for that matter, do we get uncomfortable with unnecessary or unexplainable nice-ness? Why, when we meet someone who is sugary and has an overly sunny dispostion, do we want to immediately blow their brains out? This niceness evokes, in most people, a bit of hatred. Can we explain or deny this? I know I can't deny it. A random, unwarranted hug can oftentimes be my tipping point into complete and utter crazytown. Is it because I question the motivation for the hug?
WHY OH WHY would random people stand on a corner offering hugs? In 99 out of 100 cases a random hug is NOT the answer to a shitty day, but the CAUSE. Invasions of personal space suck. They are oogy and unwanted. Not this, you free-hug-wielding mother fuckers. Nobody is buying it. If you get off to hugging strangers all day, you need to take a deep look inside of yourself and find another way to fill the void. Heroin. Dangerous stunts. Just don't fucking hug me.

Edwards suggested that we think about the "oogy" feeling we get when we sit down in a public restroom and the toilet seat is still warm. Blegh.
Why does this upset us so? It should not be surprising that someone had used the restroom in the recent past; no one walks into a public bathroom and thinks that they're christening a virgin toilet. So why the willies when we sit there? Is it the absence of humanity that bothers us? Is it a lonlieness brought on by the mere TRACE of a person who is now gone? A reminder that our time here is short, and our traces will fade with time?

Who fucking knows. The only thing I'm sure of in life at the moment is that, given the opportunity, I would bang Jim Edwards into next month.